I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
is wine microwaveable?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
