she woke up with a sticky ear
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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