I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
