she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
