are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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