My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm always down for nudity.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
