Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
