It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
