The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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