Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
