listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
