she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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