Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woke up backwards on a recliner
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
