Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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