The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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