I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Drake has all the answers
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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