this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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