question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
