forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize