you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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