if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
