My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
