You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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