She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
