I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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