i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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