Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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