wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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