genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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