yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have tasted many bathrooms
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