they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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