i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
