i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
