Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My nipple is on Facebook.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize