Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you win again, gameday.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
