OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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