Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
