one two three fourrrrnication!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They took my balls.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
