hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
