Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
