if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize