do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
