Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
