my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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