A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
