I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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