these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
