It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
