he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize