My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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