I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
