Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
