shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
