i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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