Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
