I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize