i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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