is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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