her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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