The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
