Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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