I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
