Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry HAYGIRL_HAAAAY hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.

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(213): View more from California

Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(

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(607): View more from New York

I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

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(805): View more from California

the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.

Fav 21 7588 2018
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(423): View more from Tennessee

So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.

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