Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
